Parents and caregivers’ responses to their child’s gender identity or expression play a pivotal role in their mental health. Despite increasing visibility of transgender and gender diverse (TGD) children, few scientific resources exist to advise their parents and caregivers.
We used an online Delphi study to generate expert consensus. Expert adult participants (N = 93; 55% cisgender women, 12% cisgender men, 33% gender minority; 83% White race or ethnicity) rated statements describing parenting strategies compiled from a systematic search of community-generated online literature. Participants represented 3 distinct “panels” of expertise: parents and caregivers of a TGD child, TGD persons, and/or professionals working with TGD populations. Statements rated as essential or important by 80% to 100% of each panel were endorsed as a guideline. Three rounds of surveys were used with iterative feedback to develop consensus.
Of 813 total statements, only 125 were endorsed by all 3 panels. Key domains of consensus included: supportive strategies for parents (eg, open communication, listening), behaviors to avoid (eg, pressuring a child into a gender transition), strategies for navigating healthcare and school systems, and common responses for parents (eg, confusion). Areas of disagreement, in which professional and TGD panels concurred but the parent panel did not, included whether to allow gender identity experimentation during childhood, the value of providing access to gender diverse media, and how to avoid misgendering a child.
These consensus-based guidelines offer a unique and needed resource for parents and caregivers and clinicians and can be used to promote the mental health and well-being of TGD children.
Parents and caregivers’ responses to their child’s gender identity or expression are critical for childhood mental health, particularly for transgender and gender diverse (TGD) children who are at risk for adverse mental health outcomes. Few scientific resources exist to support parents and caregivers of prepubertal TGD children.
This study developed guidelines for parents and caregivers to support the mental health and well-being of TGD children based on a consensus of 3 expert panels. These guidelines offer a timely resource for both parents and caregivers and clinicians working with TGD children and families.
The past decade has seen a dramatic increase in the visibility of transgender and gender diverse (TGD) children. Alongside this visibility is increasing research on the health and well-being of TGD young people in and outside of the family context, though the majority of this research has focused on TGD adolescents and young adults rather than children. This research has found that compared with cisgender (ie, non-TGD) peers, TGD youth are at increased risk for adverse mental health outcomes,1,2 driven in part by exposure to social stressors, including anti-TGD stigma,3,4 which can start early in childhood before TGD identification.5
Applying a family systems framework,6,7 the navigation of a TGD child’s gender identity can affect the family system as a whole, and the functioning of the family system can affect a TGD child’s mental health.8,9 Parents and caregivers play a critical role in TGD children’s mental health.10 When parents and caregivers are unsupportive of a TGD child’s gender identity, TGD young people are at increased risk for adverse mental health outcomes.11–13 Conversely, TGD children who are affirmed in their gender identity by their parents and caregivers (eg, through the use of pronouns and/or name consistent with a child’s gender identity; allowing a child to express their gender through hairstyle or clothing), show no increased risk to mental health, with similar outcomes to the general population of United States children.14 Parents and caregivers who are initially unsupportive of their TGD child’s gender identity may need additional support and resources to reach acceptance. Moreover, all parents and caregivers, even those who are supportive, may benefit from information about gender identity development in childhood and guidance in how to support TGD children.
Experimentation with gender expression and identity during childhood is common and does not necessarily mean that a child will become TGD,15 but parents may not be familiar with the scientific research in this area. Because of societal and interpersonal stigmatization of children perceived to be gender nonconforming,16–19 and potential minority stress experienced by parents and caregivers of TGD children,20 parents and caregivers may need support in navigating their child’s gender expression and identity if it differs from societal expectations based on a child’s assigned sex.
Parents and caregivers of TGD children seek support from many different sources, including support organizations (eg, Gender Spectrum), professional organizations (eg, American Academy of Pediatrics21 ), parent-authored blogs, and books by parents, clinicians, or TGD adults. Recent qualitative research has drawn attention to the experiences of parents and caregivers of TGD children, with implications for supporting children’s well-being in the face of stigma from societal institutions or within family systems.22–24 However, few scientific resources exist to directly support parents and caregivers of TGD children.15 The scientific resources that have emerged in recent years draw on clinical expertise but typically do not directly reflect the lived experience expertise of parents and caregivers or TGD adults, and may have limited utility for the day-to-day challenges that parents and caregivers and their TGD children face.21,25 Pediatricians are an important source of support but may lack training in specific guidance for parents and caregivers of TGD children.26,27
Identifying effective parenting strategies for parents and caregivers of TGD children is essential to avert harm and promote child mental health. The Delphi method, defined as “a systematic way of determining expert consensus that is useful for answering questions that are not amenable to experimental and epidemiological methods,”28 has been used previously to create expert consensus parenting guidelines for a range of health-related topics (eg, body image concerns29 ). Delphi studies typically involve iterative rounds of surveys where experts independently rate ideas. Consensus is built over time as feedback from previous rounds informs ratings in subsequent surveys. This method is particularly useful for topics with disagreement about the best course of action, where it is valuable to identify areas of consensus among those with divergent views. Although there is general agreement among professional organizations and providers that a supportive approach to parenting and caring for TGD prepubertal children is necessary to ensure positive developmental and health-related outcomes,26,30 there is some heterogeneity in what an affirmative approach entails. Further, there remain considerable differences of opinion,31,32 including public debates in online forums (eg, social media) among groups of parent advocates and between some parent advocates and TGD community members and health professionals regarding best practices for parenting TGD children. The current study used the Delphi method to create expert consensus parenting guidelines to support the mental health and well-being of TGD prepubertal children.
Methods
Participants
Experts from the United States, United Kingdom, Australia, and Canada were invited to participate in 1 of 3 expert panels (see Table 1 for sociodemographic characteristics). Potential participants were identified from (1) a systematic review of English-language scientific literature and recent scientific presentations to identify known clinical and/or academic leaders in the field, and (2) a systematic search of the gray literature to identify key opinion leaders with parent or caregiver and/or TGD lived expertise and advocacy organizations. Recruitment efforts aimed to capture the diversity of perspectives represented in the scientific and gray literature regarding the development and health of TGD youth. Potential participants were recruited via e-mail. Based on prior Delphi recommendations, we aimed to recruit 30 participants per panel to yield stable results while allowing for attrition across survey rounds; studies have found as few as 23 panelists can provide reliable decision-making.33–35 The parent and caregiver panel (n = 61) included parents and caregivers of TGD children with ≥1 year of experience as a parent advocate. The TGD panel (n = 32) included TGD adults with ≥1 year of experience as a community advocate. The academic and clinical panel (n = 28) included experts with ≥5 years of experience as a mental health or medical professional and/or researcher specializing in TGD health. Participants who met the criteria for more than 1 panel (n = 20; eg, TGD and academic and clinical) chose which panel they would participate in. See Appendix 1 for additional information about recruitment and the Delphi method.
Measures
Between February and April 2018, we conducted a systematic search of online gray literature to replicate the resources parents and caregivers might encounter when searching online for guidance. Key search terms (eg, “parent(s) trans* child,” “gender confused child,” and “my kid trans”) were entered into Google search in the United States, United Kingdom, Australia, and Canada using incognito mode, clearing cookies, and adjusting for country location. The 4 English-speaking countries were selected because they have similar health and support systems for TGD youth.
The search aimed to collect statements to present to the panels for rating. Statements were extracted from the web source if they offered parenting advice or strategies. All statements were included from each source, regardless of the authors’ opinions on parenting strategies. The search generated ∼1600 statements that were used to develop the round 1 survey.
The next stage aimed to distinguish among novel ideas and draft clear statements to be rated in the survey. A working group of authors (N.P.J., S.K.W., A.G., and L.H.) with experience in TGD health research and Delphi methodology used a focus group format to distill the statements into 813 survey items with each containing 1 parenting strategy.28,29,36–39 The research team reviewed items for wording, style, punctuation, structure, and content until consensus was reached. Each item was formatted into a statement of advice: “parents should be aware…” (knowledge items) or “parents should…” (directives). Original wording was retained when possible. The final survey contained a wide range of topics (from foundational concepts to family dynamics to navigating life outside the family), representing a comprehensive scope of advice for parents and caregivers of TGD children.
Procedure
The Boston Children’s Hospital Institutional Review Board approved the study procedures. Guided by the Delphi method, statements were presented to panels in 3 online survey rounds (Fig 1). Panels rated each statement on a 5-point Likert scale indicating importance to include in guidelines for parents and caregivers of TGD children (essential, important, don’t know or depends, unimportant, should not be included – is harmful). After participants completed ratings, each statement was categorized as:
Endorsed: If ≥80% of all 3 panels rated a statement as essential or important it was included in the final guidelines.
Rerate: If 70% to 79% of all 3 panels rated a statement as essential or important, it was rerated in the next survey round.
Excluded: Any statements that received <70% of ratings as essential or important were not rerated or included in the final guidelines.
In round 1, participants were invited to provide feedback to improve wording or express new ideas, which led to 13 new statements added to round 2. After round 1 statements were rated and tabulated, a summary document was sent to participants reporting which statements were endorsed or would be rerated. In round 2, panels completed a second rating of the “rerate” statements and first rating of new statements. If a statement was rerated in round 2 and again failed to reach ≥80% endorsement as essential or important, the statement was excluded from the guidelines. Only new statements created for round 2 were eligible for rerating in round 3 if they achieved the rerate criteria above. After round 1, it was determined that although the academic and clinical and TGD panels were relatively aligned in their ratings, the parent and caregiver panel was more heterogeneous with fewer consensus items, indicating a range of perspectives that merited separate attention. Thus, for the remaining 2 survey rounds, the academic and clinical and TGD panels completed 1 set of reratings based on their round 1 survey results, whereas the parent and caregiver panel completed a different set of reratings based on their round 1 results. This process resulted in a set of items defined as “partially endorsed,” which achieved consensus among the academic and clinical and TGD panels but not the parent and caregiver panel (Fig 2).
Guideline Development
Following the Delphi procedure,28,29,36,37 the outcome of the 3 survey rounds was an expert consensus-based guidelines document. The centerpiece of the guidelines were the items that all 3 panels achieved consensus on, complemented by additional sections with partially endorsed statements (ie, the academic and clinical and TGD panels achieved consensus, but the parent panel did not). The authors drafted the endorsed statements into prose and organized the guidelines into sections based on content. The guidelines were sent to panels for their feedback, which was incorporated into the final guidelines document.
Results
The systematic search identified a wide range of web-based publications with strategies for addressing gender identity development and gender nonconformity in children. The major sources of information were websites, articles, blog posts, and personal essays by and/or for parents and caregivers of children who were TGD, gender nonconforming, or questioning their gender identity. A minority of sources were written by TGD adults. Some were sites specific to parents of TGD children, whereas others were sources for general parenting knowledge. Aside from a few official sources (eg, American Psychological Association), most websites were based on a mixture of opinion and lived and/or clinical experience. When websites mentioned research evidence, the citation was rarely included.
Endorsed Items
From 826 total statements, 115 (14%) were ≥80% endorsed by all 3 panels and included in the final guidelines (Appendix 2, Supplemental Table 5). A selection of fully endorsed statements is presented in Table 2. Major themes are discussed below. The relatively low level of endorsement is unusual; Delphi studies typically report a 40% endorsement rate.28,29 Because of this, we conducted a subanalysis of statements endorsed only by academic and clinical, and TGD panels who were more aligned in their ratings than the parent and caregiver panel.
Partially Endorsed Items
Items with a strong pattern of agreement among the academic and clinical and TGD panels (ie, rated as either essential or important by ≥80%) but less agreement among the parent and caregiver panel (ie, ratings of <80%) were defined as “partially endorsed” in the final guidelines (Table 3). Below, we discuss parent and caregiver ratings, as these offer insight into current areas of tension and debate regarding best practices for parents and caregivers of TGD children.
Excluded Items
Overall, 711 (86%) of the 826 statements were not included in the final guidelines as they did not achieve consensus (≥80% endorsement as essential or important) over the 3 rounds. Among these, some statements were strongly rejected by the panel members (ie, rated as either unimportant or should not be included – is harmful). These items reflect agreement across the 3 panels about parenting strategies not considered appropriate for the guidelines document. Of these rejected statements, several suggested parents and caregivers should restrict a TGD child’s activities or behaviors (eg, not allow their child to socialize with TGD people or read autobiographies of adult TGD people). Other statements implied that supporting a child’s gender identity would harm the child (eg, “Parents should be aware that allowing children to believe that gender is fluid is psychologically dangerous”). Other statements explicitly referred to girls or women and boys or men and/or to heteronormative family structures (eg, “Parents should be aware that young girls and boys need both their mother and their father to show them what being a man or woman entails”). A selection of strongly rejected statements are presented in Table 4.
Final Guidelines: Major Themes
The final guidelines are publicly available for download and distribution here: www.genderandparenting.com. Based on the final endorsed items, the resulting guidelines included 2 main sections: (1) parenting strategies related to the development of gender identity and gender expression for all children; and (2) strategies for parents and caregivers of a child who identifies with a gender different from that assigned to them at birth. In this second section, endorsed items were grouped into 7 subsections: general guidance, supportive strategies (or “Dos”), parenting behaviors to avoid (“Don’ts”), common feelings for parents and caregivers, self-care for parents and caregivers, family dynamics, and navigating institutions as parents and caregivers (health care systems, schools, and advocacy). Partially endorsed items were included in 4 of these sections: dos, don’ts, family dynamics, and navigating institutions.
Discussion
This study used the Delphi method to develop guidelines for parents and caregivers to support the mental health and well-being of TGD prepubertal children. The panels reached consensus on a wide range of topics related to supporting TGD children. Statements endorsed by all 3 panels offered strategies for parents and caregivers to talk openly with their child about gender identity and expression, as well as strategies for supporting a TGD child and their siblings, parent and caregiver self-care, and navigating health care systems, schools, and parent and caregiver advocacy. Rejected statements included suggestions that parents and caregivers restrict the activities or behaviors of their TGD child, statements claiming harm would be caused by a parent and caregiver supporting their child’s gender, and statements that described gender as binary (girl versus boy) and/or included heteronormative assumptions about family structures (mother and father).
Although the 3 panels agreed on numerous topics related to supporting TGD children, there was some disagreement. The academic and clinical, and TGD panels were generally more aligned in their assessment of the statements, whereas the parent and caregiver panel was more heterogeneous. Key areas of disagreement related to misgendering (eg, using a child’s birth name [“dead name”] or pronouns that do not affirm a child’s gender identity40 ) and “conversion therapy,” which purports to change a child’s gender identity and has been widely discredited.41,42 The academic and clinical and TGD panels tended to support recommendations that parents and caregivers never misgender their child or access conversion therapy, whereas the parent and caregiver panel did not feel that such statements should be included in the guidelines. Many topics reflect tension in societal discourse about how best to parent TGD children, with some parents and caregivers and experts believing TGD children should be affirmed in their gender identity and others believing the best way to support children is to help them become comfortable living as their assigned gender.43 Notably, the academic and clinical and TGD panels who represent those with clinical and/or research experience and/or TGD lived experience, tended to endorse statements representing a gender affirmative approach. This aligns with prior research of TGD adults reflecting on their childhood needs,44 as well as research demonstrating a strong link between using a gender affirmative approach and TGD children’s mental health and well-being.26,30
A strength of the Delphi method is that it facilitates consensus-building based on independent ratings across multiple areas of expertise, including both professional and lived experience expertise; this is valuable when trying to identify common goals across diverse stakeholders invested in a nuanced topic such as the subject of the current study. However, this study had a number of limitations. First, across panelists, participants were 55% cisgender women, 12% cisgender men, and 33% TGD; 83% White race and ethnicity; and 91% United States-based. This panel composition may make the guidelines less reflective of the perspectives of participants of color and those from the other 3 countries in the study. In addition, we did not collect information from panelists about their political views or views on gender affirmative approaches to TGD children’s health or parenting. Future research should explore how best practices for parenting TGD children may vary depending on sociocultural contexts. Second, community, medical, and legal perspectives on how to best support TGD children are rapidly evolving. Thus, terminology commonly used when this study began in 2018 (eg, “gender nonconforming”) is less common today. To address this, the guidelines are transparent about the distinction between the language used on the original Delphi survey (based on original source material) and more contemporary terms.
Clinical Implications
Although these guidelines are publicly available online for parents and caregivers of TGD children, they may also be useful in pediatric clinical settings. In the past decade, the number of TGD children presenting in these settings has increased,45,46 yet most pediatricians are not prepared to treat prepubertal TGD children, in part because existing best practice guidelines focus on medical gender affirmation for TGD youth who have already begun puberty.47 In addition, few scientific resources exist to support parents and caregivers of TGD children.15 Pediatricians can use these guidelines to support parents and caregivers who are seeking care for their prepubertal children who may be too young to undergo gender affirming medical treatment.
Conclusions
Guidelines for parents and caregivers to support the mental health and well-being of TGD prepubertal children were developed based on consensus of 3 expert panels. These guidelines provide information on a range of topics to support TGD children and create an invaluable and timely resource for both parents and caregivers and pediatricians working with TGD children and their families. These guidelines also provide a basis for potential interventions to support parents and caregivers in affirming their TGD children.
Acknowledgment transgender and gender diverse s
We thank the experts who participated in developing these guidelines.
Drs Katz-Wise and Gordon conceptualized and designed the study, supervised data collection and analyses, and drafted the initial manuscript; Dr Hart conceptualized and designed the study and provided training and guidance in Delphi study methodology; Ms Sharp coordinated data collection and conducted analyses and drafted the initial manuscript; Ms Johnson conducted a review of the online literature, created the survey items and survey, and drafted the initial manuscript; and all authors critically reviewed the literature search results, survey items, and manuscript draft, approved the final manuscript as submitted, and agree to be accountable for all aspects of the work.
FUNDING: This project was funded by the Boston Children’s Hospital Clinical and Translational Research Executive Committee, awarded to Dr Katz-Wise. Dr Katz-Wise and Dr Gordon were also funded by the Maternal and Child Health Bureau, Health Resources and Services Administration (Leadership Education in Adolescent Health project, 6T71-MC00009). Dr Hart was supported by an Australia Awards Endeavour Fellowship, and an Australian Rotary Health Colin Dodds Postdoctoral Fellowship in Mental Health Research. The other authors received no additional funding. The Boston Children’s Hospital Clinical and Translational Research Executive Committee had no role in the design and conduct of the study.
CONFLICT OF INTEREST DISCLOSURES: Dr Katz-Wise is a diversity consultant for McGraw Hill and Viacom and CBS, neither of whom provided funding for the current project. Dr Hart is a founder and director of the not-for-profit organization Body Confident Collective in Australia. The organization and author do not stand to profit from the publication of this paper. The other authors have no conflicts of interest to disclose.